


If Tomorrow Never Comes...

by GhostNox181



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, M/M, POV Second Person, Sadness, Tony Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 10:10:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostNox181/pseuds/GhostNox181
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't notice anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Tomorrow Never Comes...

**Author's Note:**

> Something I suddenly got inspiration to write when I should've been doing schoolwork.

You don’t know it yet, but this is last time you’ll ever see him.

He hasn’t told you. Later, when he’s gone, you’ll look back and see the signs. And you’ll hate yourself for not noticing. You’ll wonder why you didn’t, because they were so dreadfully obvious. They’ll tell you it’s not your fault, that there was nothing you could do, to stop blaming yourself. But you know they’re hurting too.

Later, you’ll see it. Later, but not yet.

Because today, you notice nothing.

He’s up earlier than usual, and he only thinks to have a coffee when you ask if he wants one. He doesn’t jump when Natasha materializes from thin air. Instead of standing near the door, he sits at the counter and rather than asking why, you don’t think twice about it as you sit next to him.  Bruce enters and gives you and him a smile, and it takes almost a full thirty seconds before he smiles back. But you don’t think about it.

He’s walking just a bit slower than normal, a slight limp in his left leg. He hides it so very well. He cringes every time someone talks too loudly, and he doesn’t finish his coffee. His eyes are slightly bloodshot, tired, regretful. Thor slaps him on the back and he takes just a second too long regaining his footing, his face spending a fraction longer contorted in pain. Clint makes a joke at his expense and he takes a moment longer than normal to think of a comeback, and it isn't half as insulting as it usually is.

And you won’t notice any of it.

You don’t see it, but he’s smiling a bit harder than yesterday. It’s forced and it doesn’t reach his eyes, but he won’t let it drop. His cheeks are hurting from the attempt and his body is sore and he’s oh so tired, but he keeps smiling. He smiles for you.

You don’t realize it, but he spends the whole day with you instead of working. He never even speaks of work. He lets you say and do whatever you want. He sits, quieter than normal. But you won’t notice because you’re happy. He’s here and it’s peaceful and you don’t notice. He doesn’t want you to notice.

You won’t notice anything because he doesn’t want you to. He doesn’t want you to worry. He doesn’t want his last day to be spent with your pity stares and concerned gestures as you try desperately to find a way to save him. He knows you’ll try. He knows you’d do anything. He knows you’d go to the end of the world if it meant saving his life.

But you can’t. Because it’s going to happen.

He knows this. It’s why he’s spending time with you. He’s tried, oh he has tried. He’s brilliant. He tried everything, because even though it seems he’s given in, he does not want this. He’s not ready. He does not want to leave you. There are so many things he hasn’t done, hasn’t said. He’s so young. But he knows it is inevitable and he knows it can’t be solved so he has accepted it.

So you sit with him, laughing and smiling and talking. Oblivious.

And he sits with you. Pretending.

And when you wake tomorrow, Jarvis will urgently call you to his workshop, and you will run there, a sinking feeling in your heart, and you’ll knock and knock and there won’t be an answer. You’ll put the override codes in and enter and he’ll be there and he’ll look like he’s sleeping, but you’ll know better, and you’ll check, and he won’t be breathing. And you’ll call the team because you can’t think straight and they’ll come rushing in and god, you’ll be crying, oh will you be crying, and Bruce will have to pry you from his body because you won’t leave. And everybody will try, they’ll try long after its obvious, but they will keep trying because that’s what friends do dammit, but you will all know that it won’t work, and when the paramedics finally rush in, the air is so thick with tension and sorrow, even Natasha will have tear marks on her face because you will all know that it’s useless. He isn’t breathing. And nobody will be able to get him to start.

Because he’ll be gone.

And you won’t have noticed.

But today he’s alive. And today, all you see is a smile. You don’t notice anything.


End file.
